i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
