I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
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I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
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dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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