Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
