Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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