its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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