I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
