after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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