Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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