Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
