you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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