ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
