in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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