someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
