Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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