I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
