Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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