farters have to be the big spoon...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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