I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
