Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
