I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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