We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize