I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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