Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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