Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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