I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Help. Why am I so naked?
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