Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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