i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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