If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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