Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
