why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
