Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
we're making bets on your personal life
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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