Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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