1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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