so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
