Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
