i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin