i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
