i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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