MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back