PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
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Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
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Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.