yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.