my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.