It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.