Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
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So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
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Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.