Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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