I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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