dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
There's always time for handjobs
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
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