So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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