I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
