he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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