life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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