i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My cat gives me a boner
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
