Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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