She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
