I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
