so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
