so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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