He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
