And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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