Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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