Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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