love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
