At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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