After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
