Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
