This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
