what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
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I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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