It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
