dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
